I have always known that people of different countries and different groups eat different foods. I have known too that people eat with different instruments, knife and fork, chopsticks, fingers, and spoon and fork. And even within those categories there are subtle differences in the instruments and in the various ways of holding or using them.

It is only on this visit to Thailand that I have realised the importance of something much more basic. Western food and the manner of eating it is designed to be individual. Asian food is designed to be eaten communally. It is possible to have a meal of noodle soup or a rice dish here on one’s own. I do it frequently and enjoy it. However to really appreciate Thai food there needs to be at least four people, five or six different dishes, everything arriving whenever the food is ready and it is shared.

Certainly in restaurants serving western food having different courses in a particular order each dish for a particular person is still the norm though sharing food has become more common. I remember going to my favourite restaurant above all others, St John in London’s Smithfield where it is the custom to share – if it suits you. I was with a group of friends and said, as we were looking at the menu, “We usually share.” One of the group replied, “Actually I don’t.” And fair enough too though that would simply not work in a Thai restaurant here.

Today I have seen cormorants, gulls and herons at remarkably close quarters. Even closer were three crocodiles, one of them swimming, one which didn’t move, and a third which was sunning itself on a branch. It looked at me and then, quite deliberately, slowly turned around to have its back to me. But the most surprising sight on my gentle tour by boat of Sri Lanka’s Negombo Lagoon was that of one of the monkeys that came on board to eat the bananas offered by the boatman. This monkey ignored the bananas offered, deftly unscrewed the top of a bottle of water which was on a ledge at the bow, deliberately knocked over the bottle and drank the water as it poured out. Somewhere I thought I could hear Charles Darwin say, “I told you so.”

On arriving in Colombo from Bangkok I noticed at once the sound of car horns. It is a sound you very rarely hear in Thailand. There it is a sound of impatience and impatience is not polite.

Politeness is the highest virtue in Thailand. Manners matter. This can be a minefield for the visitor. Years ago I introduced an English friend to a Buddhist monk. I had explained to my friend the protocols, keep your head below that of the monk and do not touch him.

I introduced my friend. The monk was standing on the step of his cell so head height was not a problem. My friend put out his hand to shake hands and said, “How do you do.” I cringed inwardly. The monk took the fingers of the outstretched hand and gingerly  lifted the hand up and down.

Later I apologised to the monk, on my friend’s behalf, for his breach of good manners. “No Khun Simon,” he told me. “There is no need to apologise. His heart was good.” The intention, ‘the heart’ made all the difference.

Last week after a Buddhist ceremony performed by five monks the senior monk, who I had met before, took my hand and held it in both of his for a moment. He broke his custom to endorse mine. His heart was surely good.

P.S. Now I am old I have been told that, when using Thai, I may no longer, in polite friendliness, call a young waiter or waitress ‘nong’ which means ‘little brother’ or ‘little sister.’ That is if I get the tone right. If I get it wrong it means ‘infection.’ I may continue to use ‘nong’ for anyone of middle age or at least nearer my age. For the young I must use ‘nou.’ I don’t know what it means but it is the appropriate, polite, friendly form. In a different context, same tone ‘nou’ means ‘rat.’ Context is key yet again.

It is the middle of a cold spell here. The headline of an article in Monday’s The Nation read, ‘COLD TO VERY COLD WEATHER TO CONTINUE.’

‘Cold to very cold weather with morning light fog is forecast in the North and the Northeast with possible frost on the mountaintops, while cool to cold weather is likely in the rest of Thailand.’

It continued and spelt it out, ‘Bangkok and surrounding areas: Cool morning with strong winds and a 1-2°C drop in temperature; minimum 17-19°C, maximum 26-30°C.’

This afternoon when I walked back to my hotel it was 30 degrees. For me it was neither ‘cool’ nor ‘cold.’ It was not that the headline was misleading or the newspaper article incorrect, when taken in context – Thailand, time of year, and local perceptions.

Context and perceptions need to be taken into account every time. The water in the swimming pool here is 18 degrees and I find that chilly. I am sure I would find it cold in London now. I am very happy to be ‘cool’ in Bangkok.

I am not sure about dreams or perceptions. Epiphany is certainly the time of the year for dreams.

It began when Joseph was told, in a dream, not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife even though she was pregnant. Her was reassured and married her. The wise men were warned, in a dream, not to return to tell Herod of the birth of the Christ child and so went home by another route. And again Joseph was warned, in a dream, to take Mary and the child into exile in Egypt. They went.

When someone says to me, “God spoke to me in a dream.” What I know to be true is that person dreamt that God spoke to them.

I think the same is the case with perceptions. When someone says to me that they were unloved as a child. What I know to be true is that is how they perceive their childhood.

The responsibility for whatever action results from the dream or from the perception lies with the person.

January 8th Dining with Madam Suzy

I had dinner last night alone at Madam Suzy’s in Soi 20 of the Silom Road in Bangkok. Madam Suzy doesn’t smile much but the food is good and very reasonably priced.

A young woman, also alone, came and sat at the next table. We talked. She said that she came from the Czech Republic, lived in Dubai and worked for the airline Emirates as a Flight Attendant. This time I am flying with Emirates as I have sometimes in the past.

It became clear that she loved her job, found fulfilment in it and was proud to be part of the company she worked for. When I told her that my flight with Emirates had been very good and the service excellent she seemed genuinely pleased.

It was a good encounter.