On arriving in Colombo from Bangkok I noticed at once the sound of car horns. It is a sound you very rarely hear in Thailand. There it is a sound of impatience and impatience is not polite.

Politeness is the highest virtue in Thailand. Manners matter. This can be a minefield for the visitor. Years ago I introduced an English friend to a Buddhist monk. I had explained to my friend the protocols, keep your head below that of the monk and do not touch him.

I introduced my friend. The monk was standing on the step of his cell so head height was not a problem. My friend put out his hand to shake hands and said, “How do you do.” I cringed inwardly. The monk took the fingers of the outstretched hand and gingerly  lifted the hand up and down.

Later I apologised to the monk, on my friend’s behalf, for his breach of good manners. “No Khun Simon,” he told me. “There is no need to apologise. His heart was good.” The intention, ‘the heart’ made all the difference.

Last week after a Buddhist ceremony performed by five monks the senior monk, who I had met before, took my hand and held it in both of his for a moment. He broke his custom to endorse mine. His heart was surely good.

P.S. Now I am old I have been told that, when using Thai, I may no longer, in polite friendliness, call a young waiter or waitress ‘nong’ which means ‘little brother’ or ‘little sister.’ That is if I get the tone right. If I get it wrong it means ‘infection.’ I may continue to use ‘nong’ for anyone of middle age or at least nearer my age. For the young I must use ‘nou.’ I don’t know what it means but it is the appropriate, polite, friendly form. In a different context, same tone ‘nou’ means ‘rat.’ Context is key yet again.

It is the middle of a cold spell here. The headline of an article in Monday’s The Nation read, ‘COLD TO VERY COLD WEATHER TO CONTINUE.’

‘Cold to very cold weather with morning light fog is forecast in the North and the Northeast with possible frost on the mountaintops, while cool to cold weather is likely in the rest of Thailand.’

It continued and spelt it out, ‘Bangkok and surrounding areas: Cool morning with strong winds and a 1-2°C drop in temperature; minimum 17-19°C, maximum 26-30°C.’

This afternoon when I walked back to my hotel it was 30 degrees. For me it was neither ‘cool’ nor ‘cold.’ It was not that the headline was misleading or the newspaper article incorrect, when taken in context – Thailand, time of year, and local perceptions.

Context and perceptions need to be taken into account every time. The water in the swimming pool here is 18 degrees and I find that chilly. I am sure I would find it cold in London now. I am very happy to be ‘cool’ in Bangkok.

I am not sure about dreams or perceptions. Epiphany is certainly the time of the year for dreams.

It began when Joseph was told, in a dream, not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife even though she was pregnant. Her was reassured and married her. The wise men were warned, in a dream, not to return to tell Herod of the birth of the Christ child and so went home by another route. And again Joseph was warned, in a dream, to take Mary and the child into exile in Egypt. They went.

When someone says to me, “God spoke to me in a dream.” What I know to be true is that person dreamt that God spoke to them.

I think the same is the case with perceptions. When someone says to me that they were unloved as a child. What I know to be true is that is how they perceive their childhood.

The responsibility for whatever action results from the dream or from the perception lies with the person.

January 8th Dining with Madam Suzy

I had dinner last night alone at Madam Suzy’s in Soi 20 of the Silom Road in Bangkok. Madam Suzy doesn’t smile much but the food is good and very reasonably priced.

A young woman, also alone, came and sat at the next table. We talked. She said that she came from the Czech Republic, lived in Dubai and worked for the airline Emirates as a Flight Attendant. This time I am flying with Emirates as I have sometimes in the past.

It became clear that she loved her job, found fulfilment in it and was proud to be part of the company she worked for. When I told her that my flight with Emirates had been very good and the service excellent she seemed genuinely pleased.

It was a good encounter.

New Year Resolutions are a good idea not least because in making a resolution I am recognising my need of improvement. I am reasonable at that in general, less so in particular. Resolving to do better in the areas of patience, kindness and not envying, along with loosing weight and not interrupting all seem a bit too much to take on just now.

Last week I was caught out be myself and discovered an area that needs immediate resolve. It is in the matter of letting go of long held prejudices.

During years of travelling and being able to stay in hotels of all sorts in various parts of the world I have become aware of the custom of people claiming sun loungers. I have heard of, but not actually witnessed, people coming to the the swimming pool at three in the morning to put an item of clothing, a bag or a book on a sun lounger to claim a preferred space.

I believed, along with many others, that most of the perpetrators were German.

As I went for my early morning swim in the Garden Pool at the wonderful Centara Resort at Hua Hin I noticed a number of sun loungers already claimed, many by books, holiday reading no doubt.

I looked at the first book. It was in German as I suspected, as was the second. Prejudice confirmed. There were five other sun loungers claimed by books. All were in English. Prejudice challenged!

When I mentioned this to the German manager later, my prejudice admitted, he laughed with me at the tendency to hold onto prejudices.

We did agree, though, that the books in English might all be being read by Germans brushing up on their second language. Prejudices held are not easily dispelled.

The Philippine choir at St Theresa’s Roman Catholic Church in Hua Hin Thailand was on enthusiastic form for the English language mass on Christmas Day. The parish priest less so. The sermon was thirty five minutes long and he seemed rather angry with us, the congregation.

In the minibus on the way back to the hotel after mass I said to the family that all I wanted them to remember was that God chose to become human as a baby because no one is frightened of a baby.

“No Grandpa.” Fred commented. “When Emily [his younger sister] was a baby she screamed and I was so frightened I ran out of the room!”

Perhaps the carol ‘Away in a Manger’ is correct, ‘The little lord Jesus no crying he makes.’